


Circumspect

by inelegantly (Lir)



Series: SWAG 2016 Fills [11]
Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Crushes, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 01:24:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5950924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lir/pseuds/inelegantly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mitani looks at Kishimoto, pushing up his glasses during the middle of a match, and he looks at Tsutsui, fiddling with the arm bar of his frames as he adjusts his glasses on his face, and he reaches a few conclusions about himself that he doesn't entirely wish to acknowledge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Circumspect

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skylark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylark/gifts).



> The prompt this was written from was "Eventually, Mitani has to admit that he kind of has a thing for boys in glasses."
> 
> There is so much more I wanted to do with this premise. I think the way Mitani relates to Tsutsui, and to Kishimoto, is really interesting and that this is such a useful lens through which to look at both relationships at once. The fic I've written is only the shallowest examination of that, and I'd like to potentially write more in this vein in the future. Nevertheless, here it is, my first fledgling offering of Mitani romance.

-

"Even Tsutsui is stronger than you," Mitani declares, not for the first time. 

Hikaru huffs at him, pulling his head up just long enough to shoot Mitani a glare before it's again ducked back toward the Go board to study the stones. 

"I don't know what you're bothering to take all this time for," Mitani continues. "It's not going to get you anywhere. Maybe if you could play me without a _handicap_..."

"I'm _thinking_ ," Hikaru insists, before slamming down one of his stones to cut into Mitani's formation.

Sloppy, sloppy, it was far too early for Hikaru to attempt an attack like that. It's far too early for Hikaru to challenge him at all, a thought that leads Mitani to laughing and leaning back in his chair. Hikaru shoots him another dirty look, and kicks him lightly underneath the table.

"Now who's taking too long," he complains. 

"Unlike you," Mitani pronounces, turning up his nose, "I can get something out of studying the board. But you're right — when I'm playing an _amateur,_ I shouldn't bother wasting this much effort." 

Hikaru kicks him again, and for a moment the fight on the Go board devolves into a fight underneath the table, each of them nudging at the other without being able to see where his feet were placed. They're still scuffling, hands on the table's edges and knees bumping only lightly — lightly — against the table lest they disturb the stones laid out for a game neither of them is willing to abandon, when Tsutsui comes in. 

"I almost beat Tsutsui the other day!" Hikaru says, nudging at Mitani one more time. 

"Tsutsui isn't that weak," Mitani says. "He's a good player." 

"Thank you," Tsutsui says, a note of genuine surprise creeping into his voice. 

All at once Mitani stops kicking, yanking his feet back to his side of the table, glancing down at the Go board, then throwing down a stone as if it had burnt him when he realizes it's his turn. He doesn't look up at Tsutsui again, just stares down in front of him, a little to the left of the board. 

"Hah!" Hikaru exclaims. "You're going to stop calling me weak, now that Tsutsui-san came in to catch you, aren't you?" 

"Whatever," Mitani says, resting his elbow on his knee, and placing his chin on his palm. "Just play the game. I'm not the one who needs Tsutsui to babysit me." 

He can feel Tsutsui watching them both, trying to puzzle out what was going on before he came into the club room. His face feels hot, and he wishes Tsutsui would just... Sit down, start working on tsumego, look at old kifu, anything other than stand there staring at _him._

Even after Tsutsui does move to his own chair, and Hikaru places down a stone, the heat in Mitani's cheeks lingers long past the initial embarrassment. 

-

When Kishimoto first looks at him, that slant-eyed stare down the length of his nose, all Mitani is thinking is that he wants to _beat_ this guy, really beat him. 

Being Kaio's first board isn't such a big deal. Mitani is first board, too, for his school. If Kishimoto wants to act all high and mighty about his skill at the game, the least he ought to do is acknowledge that Mitani is skilled _too._ Otherwise he'll regret it — when Mitani pulls out his best game and makes Kishimoto really _fight_ him on the board. 

During the match, it becomes quickly apparent that Kishimoto is better than him. 

But being _stronger_ isn't always the same as being more _clever_ — Mitani should know a thing or two about cleverness, never mind what Tsutsui thinks about his cheating past — and it doesn't mean he stands no chance. As long as he can get an edge on Kishimoto, confuse him, overwhelm him with unexpected play... As long as Mitani can do that, he has a chance of winning.

It's only so much reassurance, as Kishimoto sits back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest and face tipped down toward the Go board. It's like he's doing it again — looking down his nose at Mitani, dismissing him, doing it all remotely from behind the facade of his glasses. It makes Mitani prickle inside his skin, trying to crawl out of himself and into Kishimoto's brain just so he can understand what the other boy is thinking about.

He pushes them up between moves sometimes, the glasses. Mitani pretends not to look, keeps his eyes on the board so Kishimoto will only know he's studying the stones, not studying the competition. 

He tries so hard to keep his cool when Kishimoto digs into fighting him over a stone. He's stubborn; if there's significance to it then he'll make _sure_ he wins, will push and fight to make their game one worthy of the first board. It frustrates him, to think of giving in. But if there's no meaning behind the stone... It embarrasses him even more, to think he's being tricked. 

Kishimoto pushes his glasses up again, when he tells Mitani that falling from the fight means he'll only fall apart. 

Mitani hates it, and he hates that Kishimoto is right. He holds himself together enough to finish the game, but not enough to take back the match. And when Kishimoto pushes him, challenges his desire to fight until the end, he just — breaks. There's no point in fighting a battle he cannot win. 

What he remembers, after that match, is Kishimoto's polite, almost-smiling face, telling him that it was _fun._

-

"You stood up for me," Mitani says, hands stuffed in his pockets. 

Tsutsui stops in the door to the club room, taken aback by the declaration. Mitani continues staring ahead, not looking at him, just gazing across the classroom at an indeterminate spot on the floor. After a moment, Tsutsui relaxes, if not before fidgeting with the arm of his glasses, straightening them on his face.

"I told you before," Tsutsui says. "I only told the truth. And you _are_ good." 

"Doesn't mean you had to say it," Mitani insists. 

Kishimoto's face is fresh in his mind — the polite, vaguely condescending look he wore when he wished Mitani a good game; the composed, almost-smiling one he'd offered when he told Mitani that it had been _fun._ Tsutsui didn't have to say anything to someone like that, to anyone from that other school, no matter how great Kaio thinks they are. Something pulls tight in Mitani's chest, knowing that Tsutsui defended him, believing so fervently in how much Tsutsui hadn't needed to do any such thing. 

"It was true," Tsutsui says again. His voice is softer this time, back to the gentle way he has, and almost against his will Mitani finds himself soothed by it. "And is it really such a bad thing, to want to stand up for someone?" 

Mitani rolls his eyes at Tsutsui, but it's good-natured. Tsutsui smiles back at him, so that the corners of his eyes scrunch up behind the frames of his glasses. 

"Whatever," Mitani says, stepping away toward the table where the goban is already set up. "I guess it wasn't a big deal after all." 

"That is what I was telling you," Tsutsui agrees, following after him to take the other seat across the board. 

It's not the same, the little smile Tsutsui has given him, to the subtle half-smile Kishimoto had offered. It's different, and though Mitani shoves aside the tense little feeling pulling from inside his chest, he suspects it's more the same than he cares to admit. Kishimoto and Tsutsui are more the same than Mitani cares to admit — and how Mitani feels about that is something Mitani doesn't care to acknowledge at all. 

-

-


End file.
